In the past, I have written and spoken much about dating, singleness and sexuality. The Doctrine of Sex series at Living Stones has been a great venue to talk about things most people don’t talk about in church. Sexuality is a dominant issue in our culture, our church and our lives. It is at the core of our being and how we were defined the day God created humans. “…male and female, he created them.” (Genesis 1:27) From the beginning, we were engendered, “sexed” - divided not whole. Therefore, since we were created divided, we live our lives longing to be connected, seeking wholeness. This is the drive behind everything we do in life. In light of that, there is much to be discussed regarding how God intended us to pursue connection. To the Observers:
You may just be looking in to this Christianity thing, curious about the values and principles and why we do life the way we do. Thank you for your curiosity. Just to let you know, this is written from the Christian perspective of our value of God’s Word, value of life, value of humans and how we were created.
Purpose of Dating
The truth is you marry who you date….so my advice is don’t date someone you wouldn’t marry. It’s dangerous to the soul. Though dating is fun and entertaining, this shouldn’t be the primary purpose because there are souls involved. Dating with soul-purpose is done with soul intentionality, knowing full well that you are interacting with another soul and not just someBODY who can be disposed of when you’re no longer entertained. Consider the other person and their soul. When you date someone, you are in a sense entrusting your soul to them.
“who to?” “who NOT to?” “how to?” “how NOT to”
As Christians who want walk in the way God intended, we should rule out any dating prospects who have not surrendered their hearts to Christ. You can think you’re just dating and enjoying yourself and it’s harmless. However, you have to know there’s a chance you will fall in love and then get married, which seals you in a covenant with someone who doesn’t have the same convictions and beliefs as you. By dating someone who is not committed to Christ, you set yourself up for a potential lifetime connection with someone who is not made new by Christ’s sacrifice and also who doesn’t hold Scripture as their authority. It is in Scripture that we gain our understanding of how God intended marriage. God has set specific roles and ways to have a biblical marriage. Anything outside of God’s plan for our lives only leads to destruction and pain.
My advice: Date and marry someone who is more in to Jesus than he or she is in to you. The church is a great place to find a spouse. People are doing life together there and you can find out a lot about a person by asking around - community group leaders, members, people who serve at the church with this person. Some may be mumbling now about how the church should not be seen as a dating pool. Well, of course not, but where else will you meet someone who loves Jesus and is committed to loving others the way Christ loves us? The bar? The gym? Obviously, be wise, be intentional, and be humble.
So you’ve found someone and now your dating…..
Come back next week as I discuss how to keep Christ as the center of your dating relationship.